Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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