just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
