Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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