your thong is hanging out like whoa
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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