Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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