Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
