Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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