just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
