I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
