dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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