is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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