he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
