Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was like getting head from an anaconda
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
