I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
