I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
