On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
