OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
