wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Buhtt sex?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
