Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
