It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
