saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
