omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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