a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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