I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
wow bdsm is so cute
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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