i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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