ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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