Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
