I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
