just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
