I wannas sexs uuuuu
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
