What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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