Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
