I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
