I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
