i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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