dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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