As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
