i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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