i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
