I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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