Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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