You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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