the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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