I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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