He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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