I bet he comes in French.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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