then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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