hell yes lets make some ravioli
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
