It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
