singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
