The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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